Thanksgiving Day Prayer

Lord,

We come together with gratitude in our hearts on this Thanksgiving Day. We are ever so grateful to share time with family and friends. We are thankful for the food that has been so lovingly prepared, may it give us nourishment and strength.

We ask thee at this time to please bless those who are serving on behalf of others. May they feel your love, your guidance and your protection.

Help us to be mindful of your will, that we may all be an instrument in your hands.

Again we thank thee for the many blessings we enjoy.

Amen
-anonymous

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God Bless America Land That I Love....

One Summer Weekend

Last weekend Corbie and 3 friends went to experience "Wine Country" and taste the fermented fruits of the Napa Valley. (I'm sure the motivation was connected to free booze but what do I know?) Robert was at a tournament in Park City playing the only "Real Sport" any "Real Man" should play, Rugby. (Anything else is just child's play.) Therefore I was blessed with entertaining Cale (11), Morgan (7) and Ryan (3).

We started out at Cale's soccer tournament where his team was victorious taking home the first place trophy. After that we headed to Wheeler Farm to attend the annual "Kids Fest" and ride a few rides. Next was the Coalville County Fair which was definitely the highlight for Ryan. Last and certainly not the highlight of the weekend was staying at a cabin where we roasted marshmallows in an open pit. Not one of them liked roasting or eating those delicious morsels. So as soon as the bugs started dive bombing at us, we called it a night and went inside. My darling citified grand kids were grateful to be inside with their Nintendo DS, computer and their DVDs. However the bugs would have been better than the hell that broke loose inside. Cale, bless his heart, got sick barely making it to the bathroom which may have been the best thing that happened because from that point it was all down hill.

Since the TV was down in the living room we decided we would camp out there and watch a movie. I of course was sound asleep before my head hit the pillow only to be awakened by Cale throwing up on Morgan's sleeping bag. (This was to be the first of several up chucking episodes through out the night.) I immediately jumped out of bed setting my feet upon what felt like frozen ground. It was very cold so I found a small space heater to use and then re-bundled Morgan and Cale with extra blankets. I stayed awake for an hour or more making sure it was warming up (hoping we could all avoid frost bite) and making sure Cale was a sleep.

I finally dosed off but within minutes or so it seemed Cale threw up again, on the blanket on top of his sleeping bag. Again I got up to help him and clean up. The temperature was climbing it was cold but at least we couldn't see our breath.

I found a pan for Cale to use should this happen again. Staying awake for another hour or so I watched my darling little boy fall asleep before the Sandman closed my eyes. As I was closing my eyes and slipping into sleep; again I was brought back to consciousness by Cale throwing up one more time. I thought thank goodness I gave him the pan but much to my dismay when I opened my eyes he had thrown up on his sleeping bag not in the pan. What a blessing it was the last clean up.

About 5:00am the cabin was warm the kids were sound asleep and as I was dosing off I thought, "I'm not good as the entertainment committee".

Funnies

I received this today in an e-mail and almost peed my pants laughing. Hope it makes you laugh too!

These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.


ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________

ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's twenty, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8Th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________

ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________

ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
_________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________

ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________

And the best for last:

ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.