Monday, August 11, 2008

Floundering With Purpose

I am constantly acting as if my life has great purpose yet I am aimlessly traversing life’s path way. I remember hearing once if you don’t know where you’re going any road will do; that just about sums up my journey so far….I don’t know where I’m going and at my age you would think I should have a clue.

I’m certain I have a purpose. I know everyone does that is everyone but me. Yet I fail to identify just exactly what it is and how it should look. Just when I think I am zeroing in on my purpose I make a major shift and I find myself in change mode. You know that place where flux takes over and confusion is abounding.

I guess I should look at the bright side I do know what it isn’t. I know I was never meant to be a dancer. I have yet to learn how to do the pony and recently when I was told to get in 2nd position I had no clue as to what that was. (It did sound a bit naughty or maybe it is just my twisted mind.) Also, I am certain the requirements are to be coordinated, and graceful both of which have eluded me. Singing is out of the question….My singing is only for the hard of hearing, the shower, or my grandkids who are very tired and want me to whisper a soft barely audible lullaby…… Anything athletic is absolutely off the table – if you have ever watched me run, play softball or golf you know I speak the truth.

Laughing is the only thing I really do well and enjoy immensely. I can snicker, chuckle, belly laugh, cackle, there have even been a few times I have snorted. I also do it really loud and with great enthusiasm. I am aware that laughing may not really be a purpose but for the record I do it often so it must mean something. I laugh when I shouldn’t, I laugh when I am hurt, I laugh when others get hurt,(I know that is sick and wrong) I laugh at silly and goofy things, I laugh when I want to cry, I laugh when I should cry, and last but not least I laugh till I make myself cry.

Hey, what if laughter is my purpose? I’m thinking it just may be and little did I know I am on task. However it does seem a bit off the wall that laughter would be someone’s purpose. I don’t suppose everyone’s purpose has to look the same, or does it? For now I think I will flounder with purpose, and purposely laugh at my floundering ways. At least it keeps me in stitches.