Blogging

I have a blog. I am not bragging for I am sure that many of you have a blog, and your blog is active and exciting. Mine is not. Mine is dull and pretty much dead. It seemed like a good idea at the time my daughter set it up. She and her friends seem to be enjoying themselves so I thought why not. I also thought it might be somewhat fun and relaxing. For the record I have yet to feel relaxed and fun would not be a word I used to describe blogging. (I have great hope that fun is just around the corner.)

Little did I know how time consuming it could be. In order to have an active blog you need to post often, every day would be best. My once in a while posting is really just a feeble attempt so I can say I have a blog. However, blogging everyday is out of the question as I do have a life beyond the Internet (anyway I think I do). Doing it daily would also feel too much like a job and I already have one of those, although my check book would beg to differ.

There are no real rules to blogging so it is entirely up to the blogger what is posted. With that being said I could write about my pet peeves, my political views, serious issues, funny happenings, or whatever the heck I want. Yet I haven’t been able to really get it together; as a matter of fact I feel self conscience and keep questioning if I am incapable of maintaining a blog. This surprises me because for the most part I am an in charge kinda gal, maybe even a control freak. However for some reason I am unable to take charge of my blog. It seems daunting and so revealing. This also seems strange to me since I am pretty much an open book, but this blogging has made me overly cautious and I am at a loss as to why. It could be that I am in menopause and I am loosing my mind or maybe I am a bumbling fool attempting the impossible.

There is a bright spot on my blog. I have family pictures as well as music which I can enjoy while baring the pain of blogging. I’m sure you are asking yourself why do something that is so difficult? My answer to that is I don’t know, but failure right now is not an option. I may not top the blogging charts but I am not a quitter, and so as I muddle through the mire while my blog bogs me down I will gallantly blog on.

Medical Pitfalls of Age

I recognize that part of my journey here is growing old. I'm even okay (not thrilled, but okay) with the changes taking place in my body - boobs with no oomph, wrinkles upon wrinkles and a new daily addition of gray hairs. However I'm not okay with the necessary medical procedures that comes along with age.

When a person turns 50 the age appropriate birthday gift is a colonoscopy. However, since I don't like Doctors, hospitals, needles or adhesive, and let's not forget my fear of finding out there is something wrong, I chose at 50 to disregard the AMA's suggestion. Also I like denial; often living my life by "WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WON'T HURT YOU". That being said I put it off -4 years to be exact- until Jo Lynn my friend and business partner who is dutiful when it comes to all exams, yearly and age appropriate, made herself an appointment. Acknowledging I was overdue I set an appointment to get it done. So last November I allowed my butt to be violated by a camera.

For the record the procedure was a breeze. You are sent into lala land and you are none the wiser. It is the preparation that is the real pain in the butt. You are given a list of things you must do the week prior. However it is the day before when it really begins to suck. There is no chewing allowed so food is off the table. Clear liquids only. For dinner you are blessed to dine on 32 oz of a thick flavored laxative drink. (Lemon lime will never be the same.) At 5:00pm you begin drinking this $%#* 8 ounces at a time, with an 8 ounce water chaser. This ordeal is to be completed within two hours. Exhausted you go to bed praying you don't mess the bed. Up at four to drink the breakfast of champions; 32 more ounces of flavored laxative, with water chasers. As you come down the home stretch your gag reflex begins to kick in and you are trying to decide which end really needs the toilet.

The only good thing about the ordeal was when the Dr. told me he'd see me in ten years. I replied, "Sure." While thinking, "Not!"

Another on the list of procedures is the mammogram. This is to begin at 40 with a yearly exam there after. However this also falls under the "WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW WON'T HURT YOU" banner. It wasn't until I was in my late forties that I agreed to have my boobs flattened. Yes, I mean flattened, and that is hard to do with the melons I carry around.

This year's mammogram may have been the worst ever. After removing my clothes from the waist up and donning a gown I was lead into "the room". The "I Love My Job" Technician instructed me to drop my gown off of the right side. Reluctantly off my shoulder it fell. She then placed my breast on the plate of this menacing machine, then she raised the machine forcing me on my tippy toes while pulling and stretching my breast even further over the machine's plate. Next comes the dreaded lid. It was lowered to flatten the breast, forcing the tissue to sprawl over the lower plate. Once it was tight and there was no way in hell for me to get loose she showed me just how much she loved her job by clamping it even tighter. She was bound and determined to flattened my breast tissue as thin as a Kleenex tissue. At this point I can't breathe, it seems like an eternity and finally my breast is released. But not for long. Now comes the vertical smash. Yes my breast is gong to go through this again, only sideways. I was laughing to myself thinking, I hope this will help to return my boob back the way it was before I stepped into this sadistic machine. However my laughter was short lived as my breathing stopped due to excruciating pain. Sweet relief came not a moment too soon as my toes were beginning to give out.

My eyes began to well when I heard her say, "Please drop your gown off the left shoulder."

2010 Wish List

I have opted out of making resolutions this year. Normally I make resolutions around the end of December or the first of January then I give it my all for the first half of the year. As my all begins to dwindle (around mid year) I realize I’m behind on accomplishments and I recognize again; I have over promised and under delivered. It probably would make more sense to make less resolution demands, however the overachiever gets the best of me when it comes to resolutions. For the record this year my resolve has dissolved bringing me to my "new" New Year’s approach: The Wish List.

Instead of feeling the full weight of accomplishment on my shoulders I opted for The Wish List; this will take the pressure off of me and shift it over to the universe. I know many may be thinking this is a cop out, for we are in charge of our own life. I must tell you I agree, however we are not in charge of our wishes. I can wish anything I want. If it happens great, if it doesn’t I had no expectations so there is no internal damage to my psyche which throws my “not enoughness” into overdrive.

Another nice thing about wishes, they can be wished on stars, on birthday candles, on pennies, at a fountain, at a wishing well or anything else a person deems to be wish worthy.

I offer up my 2010 Wish List, not necessarily in priority order:

1. My wish is to work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 10:00am till 3:00 pm receiving for all my efforts a six figure income. Since it is my wish I think it should be closer to a seven figure for my time is very valuable. On my days off, my wish is to complete all my unfinished projects.

2. I wish the government would stop spending other people’s money, like mine, my children’s my grandchildren’s, my great-grandchildren’s, and so forth. If they must then I wish to have me and my posterity excused from participating.

3. I wish I had an assistant to pick up after me, clean my house, organize my life, keep me on task, make me laugh and do everything I don’t feel like doing. She would also organize my desk and see to it that my chair is pushed in at the end of each of my work days. All of this she would do with a smile. (This sounds like a mom not an assistant.)

4. I wish all my listings would go under contract within 30 days of being listed and close within 60. Also I wish for no problems on the way to the closing table.

5. I wish my new puppy would potty train herself or my new assistant (See #3) would handle that job too.

6. Although I like to swear, I wish I didn’t enjoy it so much. I guess I wish I would quit swearing, however it does make me laugh so this wish is a bit conflicted. This wish may have to be put on the wish back burner until the conflict is over. Maybe I should wish the conflict be over, oh hell, I’m not ready for that.

7. Speaking of laughing, I wish everyone would laugh more. I mean really laugh. In fact I wish everyone would belly laugh. You know the laugh that makes you weak, with strange snorting sounds coming out of your mouth while tears run down your cheeks, that kind of laugh.

8. I wish gas stations were not self service and someone would wash my windows, check my tires, check my oil and do this all with a big smile.

9. I wish I had more time to exercise and golf. This would help with my next wish.

10. I wish for less stress.

11. I wish I could speak Spanish. (Maybe I should wish to master English first.)

12. I wish I could eat whatever I wanted without having to worry about growing outward. However if I do have to grow, I wish it would be upward.

13. Last but certainly not least I wish the real estate market was strong and construction permits were on the rise. I also wish "short sale" meant, a short time to close.

I think this wishful thinking is just what I need this year, my very own pocketful of dreams.

Happy Birthday Corbie

Thirty three years ago today at 8:47 am I received the greatest blessing of my life, a 7lb 11oz baby girl. She has grown into an amazing woman and blessed me with 3 beautiful grandchildren, Cale, Morgan and Ryan along with a fabulous son-in-law, Robert.

What a difference she's made in my life! I couldn't ask for anything more!!!